Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Ben affleck rant

There is a lot of talk about Batman being played by Ben Affleck in the upcoming Superman Vs Batman film. This appears to have caused a stir in many communities around the internet, with concerns of Affleck's acting being not up to scratch for such a role.

Now I'm sorry but since when was Batman such a subtle and nuanced character? He absolutely stands out from the other shouty bondage enthusiasts in the DC universe but not to the degree where only the art schooliest of method actors can accurately portray his majestic presence. My real complaint with this casting choice is that Ben Affleck isn't playing more roles within the movie.

Imagine the wondrous beauty of Kal-Affleck and Batfleck slugging it out in a melee of hammy acting and debatable facial hair. Imagine the actor who partook in the turning of a true american tragedy into one of the best unintentional comedies of all time as Commissioner Gordon stood on a frosty roof , mustache twitching waiting for Batfleck to respond to the Academy Award for Best Picture signal. Imagine his proud, manly chest protruding in the wake of defeating his greatest foe, himself.

It is true that I do have a personal vendetta against Superman as a character. I could rant on just that, mainly because he is a dull outdated power fantasy with too many powers and a generally crap design, but I feel that Ben Affleck can bring this dull 30's ideal into the 21's century with his edgy "stuttering sometimes to make the character seem real" acting style, and his "nice guy yet somehow still punchable" face.

Facetiousness aside I actually honestly don't see the problem with this casting choice. I mean it was never like batman was easy to take seriously anyway. He is kind of a chunk of man shoved in some latex with cute little ears and a cape. It even made Christian Bale look stupid. Batman for me always brings ideas to mind of him with a coat hanger trying to pry his gelatinous form into his costume in a display that can only resemble your mother stuffing the Christmas turkey with a live Diplodocus . He then heads to the streets harassing nearby clowns and bodybuilders bellowing "justice" from his protruding lips, all the while being trailed by his trusty sidekick, "boy who is way too young to be hanging out with middle-aged millionaires and I suspect is some horrendous form of prostitute"

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